Hello. I’m Nelba
I’m 37 years old and live with my husband and two children, Marco and Magnus, in a suburb of Pietermaritzburg - a small city in the midlands of the province of KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa.
I started writing this blog to chronicle life with our son, Loren, who had Cerebral Palsy and who died in April 2007.
Loren was and still is an extremely positive influence on my life. In his short lifespan, I realized very soon that people very often think of disabled children as burdens and of their parents as martyrs. With this blog I hope to help dispell this myth. At the same time, raising kids - whether they are neurologically typical or not - is a huge challenge and responsibility. And if you take the time to read my blog and the blogs of others on my blogroll, you will see that it can also be extremely rewarding. Not to mention that most parents and especially parents of disabled kids often have a great sense of humour!
I am a Christian. This does not mean that I’m perfect and it also does not mean that I think that I’m better than other people. In fact, I’m pretty sure that there are a lot of non-Christians leading more moral lives than I do. But what Christianity means to me - and this is something that became even more apparent while Loren was alive - is that I am nothing and that God is everything. I know now better than ever that I have no power. But that God is extremely strong and that I’m only able to carry on with the strength that He gives me.
2 responses so far ↓
Jacqui's Mum in Aus // November 1, 2007 at 11:22 pm
Hi Nelba,
I am so happy that your faith has been such a strength to you and I hope it continues to be.
While I was brought up with Christian values, as I have gotten older I have moved away from religion as such. I believe I am basically a good and caring person but I know I have my faults, although I have managed generally to come to terms with them and find peace with myself.
I believe that we all have a spiritual guidance, but am not convinced that it is in the form that is taught in most Christians churches. That is just my own belief however, and I do not try to foist that opinion on to anyone. It is such a personal issue that it really is up to the individual to find their own way.
As long as we know right from wrong and try to do the right thing, then the world should be an easier place to live. Unfortunately that is not the case at present but we always live with hope for a lasting peace between every race, religion and creed.
I enjoy reading your blog as you share with us a perspective that is so honest, insightful and throught provoking. Thank you.
vygie // November 2, 2007 at 7:05 am
The older I get, the more I realize that I know none of the answers. Sometimes I don’t even “get” the questions
We belong to a relatively conservative church group (Dutch Reformed). Our Minister was my parent’s minister when I grew up. I have always been able to talk to him openly about anything. And if I have to be truthful, I’ll have to admit that I sometimes disagreed very strongly about certain doctrines in the church. There were times when I refused to go to church because of this.
Our minister has been a great source of comfort to us and a few people from our congregation as well. But mostly, the people who have meant the most to us were people from other churches and people who do not belong to a specific religious group. I’m not bitter about this, it is merely an observation.
I don’t see myself as a good person. I’m often very selfish, I carry grudges and I know that I can and have hurt people deeply. And I know this to be true of many of my fellow-Christians. (Obviously there are also the exceptions to the rule.) Churches consist of people and people are flawed.
There is a very distinct difference between religion and belief. I think that religion often scare people away from believing in God, because a lot of very bad things have happened in the name of religion…
I have often been tempted to doubt God’s existence. I have often been very angry with God. But in the end, I know that God exists and that He is not to be toyed with. I know that he knows me and that (in sometimes a very weird way, to my thinking) He cares about me. And if I deny this, I’ll be dishonest.
Thank you for sharing your views and thank you for reading our story…
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