26 April 2009 – 2 years

Peace?

It is election day in South Africa and despite the general certainty that the ANC will win – although their service delivery is putrid – most people went and voted. This is in stark contrast to the previous election when a lot of people simply didn’t vote.

We voted around mid-morning. Dirk went first while I looked after the kids and I went after. We were lucky. We didn’t have to wait too long in line and the whole thing was over and done within 20 minutes to half an hour. The rest of the public holiday we could relax.

I had a nice bath and Magnus joined me in the bathroom, tugging at his pajamas indicating that he wanted to bath too. So I undressed him and put him in the bath with me. Before long Marco was there and got into the bath without a word. I love bathing with them and seeing them enjoy this simple pleasure. Looking down on Magnus’ head, I had a brilliant idea. Got out, fetched scissors and promptly gave him a haircut. It turned out as nice as one could hope for with him jerking his head around every few seconds to see what I’m doing or to protest loudly: “No no no no.”

(By the way, “no” is not a word in Afrikaans and his pronunciation is more Latin than English. The other night at the circus, he tried chatting to the little boy sitting next to him who couldn’t understand a word he was saying and asked what language he was speaking. Dirk answered, “Chinese” without a hint of a smile and the little boy gave Magnus a long disbelieving stare.)

Afterwards, I put him (still naked) in front of the mirror in our bedroom to admire his haircut. I swear I was away for just a minute to fetch some clothes for Marco and when I came back I found Magnus gesticulating wildly at the floor. He’d done a number two, stepped in it and tried getting rid of it by smearing it all over the carpet. I dumped him back in the bath and washed him down. You can bet your bottom dollar that I immediately dressed him after that. And then it was the carpet and I.

Still, it was a nice day.

It was freezing cold the last few days and it prompted me look at the kids’ winter wardrobe. Their pajamas were threadbare and yesterday we went to town and bought each a new pair, some slippers and decent winter shoes. I was a bit depressed at how much money this exercise cost us, but it had to be done. Today I packed all the shoes that are too small for both away for good as well as Marco’s old shoes that could still be used for Magnus. My kids hate wearing shoes anyway and a lot of Marco’s shoes have hardly been worn. It’s only in Magnus’ current size that we don’t seem to have anything wearable. Estcourt winters unfortunately demand shoes…

You have to curse the short-legged gene that both inherited from…well, follow my eyes. Whenever I have to buy a two-piece, the pants are way too long while the top is just about right or even too small. And the irony is that they are actually tall for their age.

This afternoon I took a nap while Magnus slept. When we woke up, Marco got into bed with me and we read a story while we snuggled. Later we joined Dirk at the swimming pool where he was valiantly trying to get rid of all the leaves in the pool after the stormy weather we had. I took the leave blower and with Magnus shrieking with indignation at the noise it makes, I vacuumed around the pool. Marco was jumping on the trampoline and playing in the leaves. Then he insisted on swimming. I baled out, but Dirk swam with him. The water was freezing and the two of them lasted only a few minutes before they ran home and took a hot bath.

Marco was difficult all evening and was sent to my room for time-out. He reacted with noisy feigned crying and I had to really try hard not to lose my temper with him. I could see that he was tired though and after supper, a milky drink and cleaning his teeth, I read him a story. He fell asleep before I could finish the book. Magnus popped in every so often to pester the cat who’d curled up at Marco’s feet, bring his brother a teddy bear and offer slobbery kisses. He does not really share his brother’s enthusiasm for books. But after Marco slept I tucked him into bed and he fell asleep without a murmur.

Peace at last.

Just the same

A couple of weeks ago I woke up all headachey and didn’t think much of it until the next day when I started feeling really ill. I had joint pains fever, headaches and shivers. A nasty rash followed and for two weeks I could barely walk. It could have been a number of things, but it seemed most like a very bad case of Rubella. So, I stayed home (not that I wanted to go anywhere LOL) took mild painkillers and I’m slowly but surely on the mend. It does not look like either Dirk or the kids caught it. If it was Rubella, this would have been the third time I’ve had it. So, a warning to pregnant women: Even if you think you are immune to it, rather keep away from anybody with Rubella. You can get it more than once. I’ve had vaccines against it as a child and again as an adult. Vaccines are not effective in protecting you.

The whole episode forced me to re-look at the way we eat, my poor sleeping patterns and the amounts of caffeine I ingest daily. I’m happy to report that those things have been taken in hand.

I seem to have more energy than before and have finally dealt with a couple of problems that I’ve been trying to ignore. Like our poor old Spaniel’s ears. He’s had an ear infection since before we left Pietermaritzburg and although I’ve taken him to the vet who prescribed antibiotic, cortisone and a number of creams and ointments, we just could not get the ears completely cleared. After forcing myself to spend a few minutes a day consistently cleaning the ears and putting ointment on them and carrying on after the ears seemed to have cleared, I think we’re on the road to success. I’m now adamant that even if it takes me doing the ear routine every day for the rest of his life, I will do it.

Sometimes ignoring a problem makes the problem eventually sort itself out. But mostly, sadly, things don’t work out this way.

We’ve started taking Marco to a child psychologist after we realized that he had difficulty dealing with some aspects of Loren’s death. This past week he touched on the subject and I could hear that he finally “got” that there was nothing he could have done to save Loren. Also that he cannot bring Loren back. He knows that he need not fear that Magnus will die as Loren had particular health problems. I’m sad that my child has had to work through something as profound as this. But I’m glad that he was able to.

We’ve been in Estcourt for almost a year and I do think that we did the right thing for our family in moving here. It hasn’t been an easy year, but things have fallen into place remarkably well. Marco is currently refusing to go to pre-school. But everybody is fine with that. I’m looking at homeschooling, but there’s no real sense of panic or urgency. I’m enjoying the kids.

With the anniversary of Loren’s death day approaching, we are all feeling more emotional than usual. The 26th will be a Sunday and I’m not sure how we will spend it. I cannot believe it has been two years. Magnus is 21 months old – the same age Marco was when Loren was born. Somehow, Marco seems more mature in my memories of those days, but when I look at Magnus I realize he was not much more than a baby. He was better at expressing himself, though and I now see what a blessing that was.

Mostly, we know how fortunate we are. Other days, we struggle just to get through the day. This makes us not much different from anybody who reads here.

For a moment I’ve felt a glimpse of other lives. Lives that have touched ours in common experiences and in sharing the same feelings. I feel blessed.