Thorny

Stepping into the new year, was a bit like landing barefoot in a patch of thorns…

On New Year’s night Anna – the lady who looks after Loren during the day – let us know via her brother that she had a series of “fits” that afternoon. She suffered from memory loss and could not walk. Her mother and siblings were very worried. So were we.

Anna was in a bus accident a number of years ago and must have suffered a head injury. Ever since the accident she has had these spells or attacks and memory loss thereafter.

I was due to start work on the 2nd, but our lack of a Plan B (the story of our lives?) necessitated me staying home for the next four days while Anna recuperated slowly. On Saturday night she let us know that she still is not well enough for work.

My wonderful mother offered to travel the 300 km to us as help us out today and tomorrow. I have a lot of very urgent work to finish before my three-week break and will really have to put in some hours today and tomorrow.

On Wednesday we travel to Johannesburg (about 600 km from here) to attend our six-monthly ABR assessment and training. Anna may or may not be able to accompany us – I’ve resigned myself to either. Since the brunt of the therapy hours rest squarely on her shoulders, it would of course be better if she could receive first-hand training, but she has the concept of ABR down well and I should be able to convey the new exercises to her if she cannot go. It is more important that she gets well.

We’ll stay with an aunt of mine during the ABR training. I am so grateful for their hospitality. Dirk’s sister offered to look after Marco while we do ABR – fortunately only two hours per day. And next week-end we get to spend a night with my sister.

Marco is very excited at the prospect of the whole trip and asks me constantly to repeat the story of where we are going and what we are going to do and who we are going to see.

After that, we have our new flooring put in and Dirk will drop us three red-heads off at my parent’s place for three weeks. He’ll join us during week-ends. On the one hand, I am looking forward to spending the time with my parents. But we sure are going to miss Dirk.

Loren has had a sinus infection and just as I thought we’d won, he developed tonsillitis. AARGH! He has had so much antibiotic that it started affecting his digestive system despite the use of probiotics and I’ve simply stopped giving it to him – after a reasonable time and in consultation with the doctor, of course. But he is uncomfortable and unhappy with the sore throat. I’m giving him homeopathic remedies and rinsing his mouth and sinuses with a mixture of salt water, bicarb and goldenseal. I’m the most unpopular mother on the face of this earth! But it seems to be helping – slowly!

As you may have noticed, I’m using our real names now. Mine is Nelba – hence the nickname Ellie (from school days). I’ve just got to find a way of posting as myself – you’ll see I’m posting as Vygie (a South African flower that does remarkably well on very little water and displays its jewel-bright colours in almost desert areas) as it is the name I’ve used for my Afrikaans blog http://windpompevygies.wordpress.com

And then, our big news: I am pregnant again. We have known that we would like a third child from the start, but the ideal would probably have been to wait a little bit longer. When I started suspecting I might be pregnant, I felt very ambivalent. Eventually I plucked up enough courage to do a home test and my joy at seeing it turn positive, made me realize that I really really wanted this baby. It took me day or so to confess to Dirk. He shyly admitted that he was wondering what was up but was too afraid to ask. He is also very glad. After yearning for children for so long and after almost losing Loren, neither of us will ever take our children and the privilege they are for granted.

We are not getting younger. I’ll be 37 in June and Dirk is 45 this February. We never wanted a huge gap between our children – the oldest must still be able to relate to the youngest. So, maybe our timing was not too bad…

We kept it quiet for a while, just enjoying the thought by ourselves. And now (at about 13 weeks) we are finally starting to tell people. We have had a few lifted eyebrows and people echoing our own uncertainly about the practicalities, but from the community of other parents with special kids, we have had only encouragement. Most people have coped remarkably well and feel that all the siblings have benefited from having a close and loving family surrounding them.

Then there is – what used to be just an aversion to allopathic medicine and reservations about forced C-sections – which has now turned into a full-blown phobia. I have enlisted the help of a psychologist and I’m searching for a very understanding OB and praying that I’ll find one. I’m also praying that healing will take place for both me and Dirk and that neither of us will be robbed of the joys of this pregnancy, birth and new little person through fear. And that I’ll do what is best for all of us – especially this baby. I’ll be using this blog to help me work through the process and I’m thanking all of you in advance for reading and helping me through sharing your thoughts.